Tuesday, January 30, 2007

But wait, there's still more

While I was in bed and not sleeping I was watching an odd assortment of late night programming. The paid advertising shows, which are thirty minute commercials, are incredible. They have to employ a lot of people. I started scanning the crowds and switching from channel to channel to see if I saw any repeats in the audiences. This leaves you little time to actually understand what they are pitching but it makes the time just scoot by. They must make some sort of profit or why would they advertise so much.

I can't say which is my favorite, Ron Popiel or some bimbo/moron used-to-be-a-child-actress/actor selling exercise equipment. It's nice to know they are still working albeit 3:00 am. I think Hillary Clinton is selling something but I could have been hallucinating then.

Now the actual commercials aren't any better. I'm naive enough to be shocked at the Girls Gone Stupid videos you can purchase--all with a money back guarantee. Just what does that guarantee read like? So do they charge you credit card with "College sluts doing their damnedest not to study" or is it something generic like "education videos"? When your wife mentions an odd charge do you fess up or just scream Identity Theft!?

The one for hair plugs takes the Golden Globe for stupidity. They show a few before and after shots and the last one is of guy with a quarter sized mole on his face stating how much this new hair has done for his self esteem. Self esteem? Did he think people stared at him because of this balding head? Hell no. They were waiting to be introduced to that thing on this face.

Listen, most women don't care a hoot if you're bald but things hanging off your face, whew, that's another matter. If it's big enough to have it's own gravity take care of it. I think there is an infomercial for that very thing.

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