Homeland Security's newest weapon against terrorism

Nothing says patriotism like a 20-foot eagle on the 4th of July though this one looks a bit menacing. Take that al Qaeda!

And, on a lighter note:

Man wakes up with light bulb in his anus. You heard that right, don't make me repeat it! Jeeze, sometimes I break them while bringing them home from the store. Little did I know you were supposed to carry them that way. Where can I buy candles?