We have nothing to fear but ourselves

Not too long ago I wrote a piece on me being lazy. For what it's worth, I actually did something yesterday. And when I say "something" I mean painting. I "do" something every day. Cook, laundry, clean, well not everyday but I keep busy.

It was my Yoga instructor I have to thank for getting me back on a somewhat creative journey. She said, during our Savasana on Saturday morning, don't let fear run your life. So I'm laying there and wondering what am I afraid of? Is fear keeping me from being creative?

Then this bolt of lightening came through the gym and singled out me; I am afraid.

When I started in pastels, almost two years ago, I thought I'd sell some of my work. I know they aren't masterpieces but decent enough for someone to shell out a few bucks for and hang on their wall. This journey took me on the road to market my work. I made prints of my work for the folks who would love to own my work but didn't want to buy the original, matted same and framed them; quite nicely I have to admit. I bought a booth at a few Holiday craft shows and thought I'd priced my work reasonably. There we small miniatures of my work in the form of greeting cards, too.

When I couldn't get anyone to purchase anything more than a few of the greeting cards I'd created I packed up everything and put it all back in my studio. Shut the door always thinking I'd get back to it as soon as I'd washed the taste of defeat from my mouth.

Comes February 2008. I brake my wrist (read posts with label "wrist") and I am down for the count. My wrist still hurts to do somethings but painting is not one of them. Good excuse not to paint, right? My beloved never pushes, never asks why; I stopped in November of 2007. I did wonder but didn't try to find out the reason. Self doubt wraps its self around you like a wet blanket.

Yesterday I saw my husbands old boots in the corner of the stairs to the garage and knew I had to paint them. I don't care if it ever gets framed or sees the light of day-- I did it for myself and I feel pretty good about it. I'm not afraid if anyone doesn't like it nor wants to buy it. I'm only sharing this photo because I want someone to know I've found my way back to my studio.

Oh, and the Vodka bottle in the studio? Naw, not what you think. I just don't have room anywhere else for the booze.

Tennis anyone?

In February of this year I did something very stupid. Some believe I do stupid things just so I have fodder for this blog and I'm trying to deny this but these events just keep popping up. I've spent more time in therapy this year than a Hollywood starlet, and that will be the last time anyone compares me to a starlet, I promise.

So what's my new round of therapy for? My old elbow that I keep injuring. I did it a disservice when I couldn't use my right broken wrist and now am paying the price with a case of lateral epicondylitis flareup , which to some people is tennis elbow. After a particular nasty two weeks I finally got to see the Dr and he shot me full of cortisone which made me feel I want to go out and pitch 12 more innings and play Roger Federer a few sets. That stuff is amazing. Too bad you just can't order it up for all sorts of situations.

For the time being I feel great and every morning I wake, try my arm, and bless that Dr Needle for all this good work. Like every thing else this should wear off and I'll be back in the same situation and Dr Needle says I might have to go to Dr Knife which I'm trying to avoid because Dr Knife's real name is Mr Pain.

I'm in therapy

This shouldn't surprise some people but it's not the therapy some of you think I need. My wrist is in serious need of some help so my Dr has sent me off to some very kind ladies who twist and knead my wrist and elbows until I break a sweat. It's not at all what I'd expected. I was thinking hot packs and massage but I get series of exercises with some pummeling. They must work because I'm able to leave my brace off for longer periods. No pain, no gain.

After using my left hand/arm/elbow exclusively for some time now has made it quite sore. It really hurts more than the fractured wrist. The injection the bone doc poked me with did little to relieve the pain and for a few days I couldn't use either arm. I felt as though I had flippers. Therapy has at least gotten me back on track.

All of this reminds me that your life can change in a second. For me the time it took for my feet to leave me and my fat ass, as well as right wrist, to hit the floor. But, I keep hearing my mom, "… this too shall pass." and am thankful it wasn't any more serious.

Serious like the car crash last week. This is the second, in as many years, that I've been witness to and both in the San Fernando Valley. Yikes, it's like running red lights is a hobby with those people. Yeah, I know, they happen everywhere. That's why cities are putting up those blow-this-light-and-we-snap-your-photo cameras.

Just the sound of an accident stays with you for a long time. Nothing can compare with the screech of tires, scraping metal and breaking glass and you looking helplessly at this uncontrollable video being played out before you. Bless the human race; before the smoke cleared people were running to help.

How late do you have to be to run a red light.

As the elbow turns

Of course regulars here know I've just recently broken my wrist. Actually, a fracture of the distal radial which sounds so much more official. It has been four weeks and today I saw the Dr for another round of x-rays. It is healing nicely but at least two more weeks in the brace and as much physical therapy. I am looking forward to the therapy because after four weeks of not using my right hand it's as week as a hand in a cast for a long time; or maybe a kitten.

All this non-use of my right hand has caused my tennis elbow to flare up, again. My darling Dr. shot me up with something wonderful, well, for the time being. He told me it would feel good long enough for me to get home and far enough from him because in an hour it would start to hurt real bad and he didn't want to be anywhere near me. Smart guy. So he suggested to go home and take some drugs that way I wouldn't hate him. How could I hate this guy.

And, here is a little fun since I'm feeling a bit drugged, Loldogs.


see more loldogs are funny dog pictures!

Things you can't do with one hand

Yeah, I'm still whining about my limited use of my hands. I'm not really a sit-and-watch-TV kind of person. I usually sketch or sew or fiddle with something if the TV is on so I'm about to go crazier than I already am.

Cooking is do-able but a real chore so I'm making casseroles, one dish meals I can pop in the oven. Yesterday I tried to do too much by putting a rubber glove over my brace and for that I paid dearly last night. Seems rubber only kept it dry. Who knew?

So here is my current list:

• open a can, really open anything
  
• slice anything hard
• lift anything hot from the oven (just don't ask)
• hold a newborn baby

Floss teeth was on that list but I found these nifty little "floss bows" that do the trick. For a while I was going au natural until I was asked if breasts can go feral, like cats. So, I've mastered getting my bra on without twenty minutes of rolling around on the bed; though I still need my darling companion to unhook me.

One positive is I'm reminded how much my husband does care for me. Friday at the market, after I closed the car trunk with my keys inside, I believe they fell out of my braced-hand unnoticed, my darling stopped what he was working on and came to unlock the trunk. No scowl, no lecture; just a hug. I must remember that.

Things you can do with one hand

You can type the name Barbara.

Well, with my left hand. Although I am a righty I have always used my left hand for some things. I can use a left-handed mouse with no problem. Typing is a challenge but I am getting better.

I did find out I could shave my legs with my left hand and brush my teeth. Washing my hair is easy but for a while it will have to be air dried. Make-up, nope. Lipstick, unless I want to look like a rodeo clown, will have to wait.

This, I remind myself, is temporary unlike the unlucky that come from the war and deal with far worse than this.

So, there's another thing I can do single-handedly, vote.

Vote your conscience.

Hey, watch this

Here is my new floor in my office. It's cork, a renewable resource. The tree is stripped of it's bark then in 9-14 years it grows back. During that time it does what trees do best, suck up all our crappy air and give us oxygen. So for the Green in me, I decided on cork.

Little did I know what a chore this would turn into.

First Lumber Liquidators might be inexpensive but the customer service stinks! My husband and brother-in-law, not new to any type of home improvement, had a devil of a time getting the floating floor to go together. It was supposed to "click" together with a gently tap of a mallet. The worked very hard and got it down in two days. When almost finished one of the panels did actually "click" into place like the instructions said, one!

So after the installation comes the sealing, polyurathane. Ah, a nice satin finish and now we need to wait three days for it to dry completely. Unfortunately I could walk on it and I say unfortunately because that's how I fractured my wrist. I'd love to say it was because it was too slick but I'd be lying.

When you start a sentence with, "Hey watch this" things only go downhill from there. In my socks, I slid across the floor, then down on my wrist. Jeeze, no wonder it's broken. I'm quite lucky it is only a small fracture and no cast but a removable brace for four weeks. After that the Dr said he'd re-xray then go from there.

This has put my continuing remodel plans back a few weeks. We should have everything out of the living room this weekend, maybe. The walls in the living room look great but I won't be able to hang and pictures for a while. Sigh.

Crack!

That is what I heard as I hit the floor. Right now I'm waiting to hear from the Dr. as to when they can set it. YUP! fractured. Good news, it's my right wrist so i won't have to brush my hair for a while.

Please let it be a cast I can take s shower with.

Pictures to follow. Typing with one hand SUCKS!

Stay tuned because when I can type I'll tell you the funny story how this happened. Let's just say, I'm old enough to know better.