If they say it's ok, it probably isn't

Men, if your partner pats your hand and say with a weak smile, "It's ok, it happens to everyone." and you live in the Southern California area, you probably cut me off on the freeway Wednesday. You see, I cursed you and not the normal curse you out, such as "You mother f***in' son-of-a-bitch" but a real honest to goodness curse. A curse something like, "You will not satisfy your partner for a week you ... (see above)."

We have a lane on the freeway for carpools and it is double-stripped so that means, for some people who are remedial, you can not cross it even if your goddamn exit is coming up and you've been talking on the phone/picking your nose or whatever fills your drive time and you are way too late/important/stupid to just get off at the next exit. This does not mean you have the right of way. I don't care how lovely your mother thought you were when she toilet-trained you, stay the hell in your lane.

And if you are standing at a meeting with your fly is down, it was my bumper you were riding at 75 mile-an-hour and had the fucking nerve to flash your lights at me.

I'm not picking on men. My hermanas get their own retribution.