My birthday is coming up and I know what I want, an air-horn. I've been doing a lot of walking. Trying to get healthy and keeping green, I walk about six miles a week. I'm hoping to increase it to ten but not unless I get an air-horn.
Why would I need one? To honk at all you bastards trying to run me over in the crosswalk. In California the crosswalk is sacred, a safety zone for the foot traveler. That is the intent but there seems to be a lack of communication to drivers, especially phone-to-ear drivers. For the love of god, I'm a fat lady in the crosswalk, you couldn't see me? I've taken to wearing brightly colored clothes but I refuse to carry a flag, what I need is something to blast them back to reality. The reality being, "You're driving a f#$%ing car, get off the phone!