Warn the townspeople

Oh Crap! Sarah Palin is coming to Simi Valley to speak at the Reagan Library. August 8. I must find something else to do that week for the town will be atwitter. I mean honestly, all the Republicans will be Twittering their heads off.

This, is life

There is a blog I read regularly, The Pioneer Woman. She's funny, witty, and has a bunch of kids, dogs, horses, and family. Mix that all together with the fact she's a dynamite cook and a fantastic photographer who lives on a cattle ranch and you've got a great read. I keep a link to her on the right side of this blog under Foodie Friends so visit her from time to time for a laugh or a tear or a damn good recipe. If you are into homeschooling she's got that covered as well.

PW often photographs her dogs and this snap makes me smile. I keep going back to these photos and what I realized is this is an analogy for life. Sometimes it grips you right by the throat but if you relax it will stop. It might even give you a slobbery kiss.

Editors note: No dogs were harmed in the shooting of these photos. PW wouldn't hurt a flea. Well, maybe a flea but never another dog. That's one of her attributes I admire.

It's not what's for supper

I've never had a problem eating animals. Killing them, that might be more difficult but if I were hungry I'm sure I'd have no problem. I never had a problem until now. Lil bird is off at Sheep Camp and these two precious animals were born while she was there. She also has adorable pix of her holding one shortly after it was born all dewy eyed and nuzzley.

Look at them, all sproingy with their new little lambie legs and sweet little lambie eyes. Well at the market this morning, as a picked up some lamb chops, those sweet little lambie eyes were staring back at me. Damn. I love lamb, in all chops and cuts but those precious little wet noses and darling sproingy legs wouldn't let me put those tasty lamb chops in my basket.

Now one of lil bird's fortes is a scrumptious rack of lamb and I wonder how this experience will effect her. That lamb she fixes is wonderful. Damn, I say, damn.

Life is good but going to get better

As a working person looking at a retired person a vacation doesn't make any sense. But I am looking forward to getting away and relaxing. At home I have no excuse for being lazy but on vacation I can sleep late, eat someone else's food, and drink wine.

The past two weeks have been challenging but being evacuated from the Getty Center yesterday was the last straw. My beloved Wednesday afternoons canceled. I do so look forward to spending my time there and it was snatched away before we even got started. Not one visitor did I assist in finding the restroom nor delight with my humor about the coffee cart. No special information such as the number of goats that eat the brush on the hillsides. Which brings up a good point, did those goats do their jobs this year? One does wonder with the ferocity of the fire racing up the canyon yesterday.

So I missed one day, there will be more, and now we know how efficient the GC is at getting 2500 people off the hill. Good job.

Lil bird goes to camp

Our darling daughter is going to camp; Sheep Camp on Martha's Vineyard to be exact. You can follow her adventures on her blog, Maltese Parakeet. There will be a request for a Twitter password but if you don't have one, just cancel and you can read her blog updates. Her first update was from the airplane at 30,000 feet.

The backstory for this trip; she loves to knit and is quite accomplished, so when see saw the blog Fiber Farm she jumped at a chance to visit and learn how to get yarn from the sheep to the needles.

Some people were very suprised when they heard how she was spending her vacation but not her mother and father. She has always been the type of person who, when sees something she wants, goes out and accomplishes it. Love her spirit. Good luck lil bird.

A funny for the 4th

Because I'm not a fan of the e-mail passed on from friend to friend my good friends rarely send them to me but after the week I've had this one was appreciated.

Briefly, my week: First was the leak and now our Honda Hybrid, six years of age, has decided it would like some new batteries. Not those everyday, lets buy them at Pep Boy's batteries, but the fancy designer type. You know the type, the ones costing us three grand. Yes, three large will just about cover it. I'm wondering how much you can get for a kidney.

So, here is a funny for the 4th. I do need to predicate this with a warning. Do not be drinking, sipping or even thinking of doing the aforementioned while reading this. Honest.

WARNING TO WOMEN!!

Some of you may have already been warned of this …

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.

Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My bum was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.

But my new bum was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched ...

One morning I was drying my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time.

What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic ' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Thought this was too 'important' not to pass on... Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart.

P.P..S. - These same thieves came into my closet and shrank my clothes! How do they do it????

Just thought you should know.

My jackass ears payed off

For the past two days we've known we had a water leak in the wall between the living room and front bath room. Soggy carpet drew our attention to the problem but replacing the toilet seal didn't fix it at all. After tearing up the carpet in the living room we saw it was a very slow but constant leak. This morning, when all was quiet, I listened to the wall and I heard what I thought was a hissing noise. My beloved measured the area of the sound and climbed into the attic about the bathroom. When he came down he knew the next step was to remove some drywall. Behind the toilet was the logical place and after exposing the water line in the area I'd heard the hiss he shined a light into the abyss.

It took a minute of peering in to find an almost imperceptible pin-prick of a leak in the copper pipe. The water was spraying against the wall stud, then dripping down to run out into the living room.

Now the oddest thing about the leak, there was nothing touching the pipe or had touched it nor was it bent or crimped. The house is over 40 years-old but copper isn't supposed to corrode.

Now, my darling is putting on his plumber pants and fixing this problem. And, no one should complain about my "jackass ears" again.

Momma, ok you can take my Kodachrome now.

Kodak announces the end of Kodachrome. Reading that article had me searching my archives to find an unused roll of Kodachrome. No luck but I did take a bit of a trip down memory lane. Pictures of our lil bird when she was actually a little bird. Family long gone. Family and friends, including myself, no longer young. Ah photography, thanks Louis Daguerre, and while I'm at it, thanks George Eastman. "They give us those nice bright colors. They give us the greens of summers. Makes you think all the world's a sunny day," Paul Simon sang.

Now, the replacement: digital. Not as sensual as developing your own film. Long hours in the dark room replaced with snap out the disc, stick it the computer, open a file, choose print. Amazing for someone like me because I can look at a black and white I labored over in the dark room remembering each exposure I tried, each area I dodged or burned. There was something magical about controlling the light in the dark and it was a feeling I don't get from Photoshop.

Digital is what we have, what I use and actually what I'm happy with but, I do long for a darkroom session, again. Anyone out there feel the same?

Buddy: The poor little doggy

He might have had a reaction to the non-itch meds he's been taking so they gave him Valium, put him on IVs for a while, and now he's home. He's asleep and not puking or shaking so there was an immediate improvement. We'll see how he's doing tomorrow. I thought he was a goner.

Accepting good wishes and cookies

When our thirteen-year-old wire haired terrorist walked away from his usual piece of toast this morning I told my beloved there was something wrong.

He's been seeing the Vet for a "chewing" problem and the meds seemed to have slowed it down but he's not his usual self. I goog'ed (this is my new word for research on Google) his meds and one of the side effects is lethargy but I'll give the Vet a call today because walking away from a handout is something he'd never do if he felt good.

Two and a half months

I had a visit from the lil guy and his mom on Tuesday. This time he was wide awake and ready to smile. What a cutie he is. He's 14 pounds and 24 inches long and he won't be three months until July 3rd. We won't be able to call him lil guy much longer.

When parents die

So many times when adversity visits a friend I can't say, yes I know what you are going through because I don't. I don't have Cancer. I've not lost my job. My child is alive. I can only be a witness to the pain and hold a hand or lend an ear. I guess you could call me lucky in that respect. Sure, I've had adversities but none so powerful as the loss of your mother and this is the journey a good friend is experiencing right now.

Both my parents lived to an age where you wouldn't say they died young but any age is difficult to lose your parents. The title daughter isn't something you earn it is bestowed on you by your parents and, eventually, it is them that takes it away.

Death steals from the living and hopefully, gives peace to the dying. So to all my dear friends who've lost that title I wish peace as well.

Di, Ingrid, Sandi, my darling sister, and now Kathleen your memory will never replace their presence but it will soothe your heart.

Right in the middle of the stinkin' valley

On Monday I was feeling rather tense. Honestly, I was in a hateful mood. I hated my representatives in Sacramento and wrote them.* I hated the idiots in Thugville for rioting after a stupid basketball game. I hated the city of Los Angeles for wanting to spend way too much money on the parade to honor the Lakers and wrote the mayor. I hated Iran but didn't know who to write. About the time I was ready to hate the whole world my beloved walked into my office, sat down and said let's go somewhere. Quickly I Googled, "What to do in San Fernando Valley" and came up with a few gardens to visit. We chose The Japanese Garden at the Tillman Water Reclamation plant in Van Nuys.

Skip this part if you don't care what happens to your poop.
Don't know what goes on at a water reclamation plant? Neither did I but check the link to find out. It's quite interesting. Let me give the highlights. You flush your toilet or run your garbage disposal and all this stuff goes to the sewer. Eventually it makes to 6100 Woodley Ave, Van Nuys, CA. There it goes into a series of holding tanks where it is screened and sifted and aerated and then some stuff heads off to another plant, the sludge, and the water is cleaned so it can be used to water golf courses and landscaping. This water is not for drinking though they say it would be safe but some of the water is used in the Japanese Garden.

All of this is done in large open tanks and yes, it smells like crap, because that is what most of it is. They have life preservers hanging on the fence around the open tanks but honestly, would you want to live after falling in? Lets move away from here and go to the garden.

We parked in the lot, payed our senior price of $2, and walked to the entry of the garden. It's a small door, traditional to a Japanese garden, made so you can't see what's in there just yet. When you walk through the whole expanse opens to this wonder garden of lakes, streams, water falls all beautifully and skillfully landscaped. Huge Koi swim in the water and there is an occasional water fowl. I can't describe everything because ever path we took had a different water feature or exquisite grouping of plants. The more than six acres was peaceful and, even though a group of pre-school children followed us into the garden, we found some quiet places to sit and watch the water; sometimes moving, other times calm. Ok, this was what I needed and when I left I felt calm and relaxed.

* If you want, you can e-mail your representatives in Sacrament and tell them they better get busy and do their jobs while we still have a state to do it in. Don't know who they are?

Find your CA state rep.

Lakers win, LA Citizens, losers

Look at this fat bastard. He has expensive shoes, a Lakers jersey, and a Lakers jacket. He could afford to pay for the damage he's done. I hope they threw his sorry ass in jail so he can celebrate with Bubba who would love this wanna-be punk.

Los Angeles, in as tight a financial situation as most of California, is going to co-host a Lakers victory parade. Why? 1 milbucks could very easily be spent on something equally as good for the city, couldn't they? LA aleady payed overtime for the rioting last night. Some please make the connection for me between pride in "your" team winning a championship and destroying a city bus.

Kitchen stories: Thanks for the move

The first settlers to the area was the Miami nation and village became their traditional capital. The settlement, at the Maumee, St Joseph and St Marys Rivers, was called Kekionga and the Miami lived there peacefully until around 1676 when the French missionaries found them.

In 1790 President George Washington ordered that Indiana be "secured", which meant the native population better skedaddle or die. After two losses to the Miami tribes General "Mad" Anthony Wayne routed the tribe, established a fort at the three rivers, and named the fort after himself. Fort Wayne was established and was a moderately successful venture.

By the mid-20th century it was a strong manufacturing center with the likes of GE, Westinghouse, Magnavox, and a variety of auto manufacturing support industries. At the end of the century Ft Wayne went the way of the other mid-west cities and became part of the country know as the Rust Belt. General Electric was the death knell for Ft Wayne and it has struggled ever since.

My family left in 1957 and not because they were visionaries but only because my father was stationed in Port Hueneme for a portion of 1944. He'd never gotten over California and they finally made the move more than ten years later.

In 1995 and divorced for many years, my mother found the need to be with her brothers and sisters and moved back to the town where she grew up. While visiting her I found the area beautiful but stifling. It felt as if the town was stuck in a fifties era mentality of segregation and ignorance. All my relatives, plain and simple, were bigots. Because of that President Obama carrying the state of Indiana, great though it maybe, was a shock. Growing up in California was the best education our parents could have given us. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Hot flash for him

Man discovers hot flashes and cravings from the other side. This story, though only humorous to women of a certain age, is so painfully honest I thought some might enjoy reading what menopause is like.

My Brief Life as a Woman

Moon and K go to town

Friday found two friends on public transportation heading East under cloudy skies. Since my traveling companion posted about the trip on her blog, I don't have to.

She took some very good snaps.

San Antonio Winery

Here comes the pole

Editor's note: While chatting with some friends I related the funny story of the electric company replacing a power pole in our back yard in late 2005.

To find the exact date I looked on my blog and to my amazement could not find the original post. Very new to blogging then I could have deleted the post. Luckily I still had the text and photos from the event. I'm republishing the story even though it's over three years old.


You can rock my cradle just don't kick my cribs

Cribs, in this instance, are platforms the outriggers of HUGE cranes sit on while they lift a power pole over your house. Let me say it again, over your house.

We have a power pole in our back yard and two weeks ago Edison, our power company, came and dug a new hole next to the old pole. The existing pole also carries the TV cable and over the years had gotten pretty beat up so they had plans to replace it. The next week we received a notice that next Monday the power would be off for most of the day. On Thursday they delivered the pole along with street signs warning Monday morning, bright and early, the street would be closed. Don't park on the street or they'll tow your car. Amazing how many didn't read the notice but the crew gave them time to get their cars moved anyway.

I can't say enough about how nice these guys were. After they got the serious business of setting up the crane they were kind enough to talk with us and answer some questions; I always have questions. I was totally fascinated with just the idea of lifting a forty foot pole over my house and I'll admit, a bit nervous. I had a vision of the pole crashing down through my almost-finished new kitchen but after talking with the guys, and seeing their attention to detail and safety, knew that wouldn't happen.

Here are the guys when they were done.

Now blooming at the Getty Center Central Garden

This plant, Geranium Maderense is a true geranium. Hard to believe for it doesn't look like and geranium I'm used to. It has a long woody trunk that ends in a two to three foot head of blossoms. It's blooming right now at the edge of the stream, as well as other locations in the Central Garden. By the looks of it it will flower for a few more weeks. Very showy.

Never wake a sleeping baby

The lil guy, now two months, came to visit and this is what we got. Adorable and we stood and watched him sleep. He was sleeping so comfortable who could pick him up. Unfortunately we were on our way out so Mom will just have to bring him back again when she can visit longer and we can actually see those eyes open.

Buddy dog was interested even though he didn't make a noise. Don't you wonder what the dog is thinking when he sees a little person?

Note to lil bird, he seems to like the car seat.